Bonds Upon Bonds
by Lia Bates
Summary: The King's Own is dying. Who will Kelastran, the Grove Born stallion, Choose next? (COMPLETED)


Author's Note: I'm ba-ack! However, my writing will be extremely sporadic for a while. I missed two weeks of school when I went on holiday, so now I have catching up as well as coursework to do. This is just a one-chapter, in answer to a question that has always bothered me . . .  
  
*  
  
The man's soft-shod feet made little noise as he entered the room and walked over to the bed. Wearily but gently, he settled into the chair beside it.  
  
The woman in the bed smiled in welcome, although she did not open her eyes. "Heyla, Cavin," She greeted him in a tired sounding whisper.  
  
Cavin showed no surprise that she was awake, although her stillness would have fooled many. "Heyla, little sister." He replied, smiling back at her.  
  
She made a face. "Only seven minutes younger!" She protested in response to the old joke.  
  
The twins, though not identical, were far more similar in appearance than most siblings. Both Cara and Cavin were just below average height, and in spite of their noble birth, were stockily, rather than elegantly built. Their hair was the same shade of light brown, and their eyes were the golden shade of honey. And both had too many lines for their thirty-six years, and dark rings below their eyes.  
  
"How are you today, Cara?" Cavin enquired.  
  
Now a slight, brittle sharpness entered her weak voice. "The same as yesterday, Cavin." she half-snapped. "Still dying."  
  
"Hey, hey, little sister," Cavin remonstrated gently, picking up a lock of hair that lay on her too-pale forehead, and tugging it softly. "Is the glass half full or half empty? You're such a pessimist."  
  
"And you're a never-ending optimist." Cara wore a smile, but it quickly faded. "And my glass is all empty, now." Cavin sighed, but did not contradict her. They both knew the truth.  
  
For Cara was dying. It was a deadly disease, a cancerous growth that ate at her internal organs. It had been to far along when it was discovered last month for the healers to do anything but slow its progress, and now it would be amazing if Cara outlasted the month.  
  
Finally, Cara opened her honey-warm eyes, and gazed affectionately at her twin. "You look tired," she informed him. "You've been working too hard."  
  
"You don't look incredible yourself, you know." He reminded her.  
  
But Cara would not be distracted. "You need a vacation." she continued firmly.  
  
Cavin shook his head. "No." he said flatly. "I won't leave you. Not while you are ill. Until there's a new King's Own, I will do my teaching job, and do your job, too. You can't advise the King like you are now, and until you die or Kelastran reChooses, you are the King's Own. I'm staying here." He took her hand in a proprietary fashion.  
  
She was silent for a while. "I don't want you to see me die." she said at last.  
  
Speechless, Cavin sent a silent burst of protest through their twin-bond.  
  
:Shh, shh,: Cara's mindtouch was soft and honey-gold in Cavin's head. :I saw you when Papa died. I saw how it tore your heart, to watch him fade, and see him so changed in his last moments. I don't want you to have to watch me die, too. I don't want you to hurt when I hurt, feeling my pain as your own. Your empathy is no gift for you to have here. Go home.:  
  
There was relief in Cavin's soul; relief, and guilt that he felt relieved, and guilt that he could not bear to see his sister's death. She soothed away the guilt, and smiled at him.  
  
"Go home, Cavin. Have a rest. Talk to Mama. Tell her - " Cara closed her eyes in pain at the grief these words would cause. " - tell her I'm dying. She knows I'm ill; she doesn't know the truth. I don't want a stranger to tell her; I want someone who will comfort her. Go home, Cavin."  
  
He leaned down, and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll go, little sister." He said, voice thick with unshed tears. "Goodbye."  
  
"Goodbye, brother." Tears painted Cara's cheeks.  
  
And as he left the room, Cavin knew it truly was goodbye; for behind him, Cara was painstakingly shielding their twin-bond. To stop him from feeling her pain.  
  
And to stop him from knowing when she died.  
  
*  
  
Cavin walked across Companion's field, his packed saddlebags dangling from one hand. He had talked to the King, who had promised he would survive Cavin taking a month's vacation, and had all but ordered that he leave today. Cavin was relieved, for he knew if he did not leave today, he would not leave at all.  
  
He entered the stable. Aliss turned to look at him, snorting in surprise when she saw the saddlebags.  
  
:Cavin, my friend,: She mindspoke him. Her mindtouch was sharp edged and sparkly to Cara's soft, warm honey-gold. It felt strange in his head. :Are we going somewhere?:  
  
The two did not a very close bond. In spite of Cavin's mindspeaking ability, it was not easy for them to talk except in close physical proximity. And with this came Aliss's complete inability to listen to what Cavin heard, or to read his surface thoughts. Cavin could reach Cara's Kelastran with ease; Cara could not reach Aliss at all.  
  
And with that thought came the envy, and the guilt. It reached back, to just after his Choosing. Aliss had come to the family's modest Manor house when Cavin and Cara were fourteen, and had Chosen him. And with the Choosing came joy, and elation - but none of the deep, unconditional love that other Heralds felt. Oh, affection, and a strong, abiding friendship - that had developed with time. But the love Cavin craved had never come - not from Aliss.  
  
And that was the envy, but it walked hand in hand with shocking guilt. Because there lurked, deep in Cavin's heart, where Aliss had never been, a fear that it was his fault the bond between him and his Companion was not love. For he knew that he loved his twin far more than he loved Aliss.  
  
Aliss had Chosen him long before Cara was Chosen. And after the euphoria of Choosing was past, it was not his Companion he went to hug, but his sister. And where other younglings left for Haven full of joy, Cavin was full of sadness that Cara was not with him.  
  
Of course, it made little difference, for the twins still conversed nightly, with Cavin passing along what he had learnt that day. He wondered if that knowledge had inspired Kelastran to Choose Cara, five years later. It had certainly been what allowed her to finish her training in a record one and a half years.  
  
:I'm taking a vacation, Aliss.: Cavin informed her, wishing he did not have to talk about it again.  
  
:But - : Aliss objected, as Cavin fetched the tack. :Cara - :  
  
Cavin let her see his grief before slamming down his shields again. "Cara wanted this." He said aloud. He could not bear her too-raw mindspeech when he would never again feel Cara's honey-softness. "She told me to go."  
  
:Oh,: said Aliss, rather taken aback. :I suppose -: Cavin shut her out, allowing not even his Companion to see his impotent anger and grief.  
  
*  
  
"Cavin!" said Lady Terra in delight, hurrying towards him with her arms outstretched. Cavin slid from Aliss's back, and moved to embrace her. "It's so good to see you again! How are you? What brings you home so unexpectedly? Will Cara be coming back soon as well?"  
  
A groom took Aliss away to the stables, and Cavin led his mother inside as she voiced her many questions. He wished that his father were still alive. He did love his mother, but he had always been closer to his father, and had little patience with Lady Terra's inane chatter.  
  
There was another reason to yearn for Lord Camron's prescence; he had always been calm and quiet, and had been able to influence his wife away from histrionics or hysterics. And Terra would not react well to news of Cara.  
  
Cavin sat down beside his mother on the sofa in her private sitting room. "I'm quite well." He reassured her. "I'm on a vacation. The King thought I was getting overworked. But Cara won't be coming home."  
  
"Oh," sighed Terra, disappointed. "Why not? Doesn't she deserve a holiday, too?"  
  
"She - isn't well enough to travel." answered Cavin evasively, searching for a way to break the news.  
  
Terra seemed surprised. "She wrote me that she was ill, but I thought the Healers would have healed her by now."  
  
"The Healers can't help her, Mother." Cavin said gently. "Cara isn't going to get better."  
  
Terra's eyes were wide with shock and horror. "You can't mean . . ."  
  
"Cara is dying, Mother."  
  
"No!" shouted Terra. "You're wrong, you must be! The Healers can make Cara well, they must be able to, she can't die, she can't . . ." Terra was crying now, tears spilling down her cheeks, and sobs choking her words. Cavin put an arm around her, trying to comfort her, but wanting comfort himself. "Oh, Cara . . ."  
  
After a while, her weeping stopped, and Terra asked the question Cavin was waiting for. "How long?"  
  
Cavin knew what she meant. "Less than a month."  
  
Terra nodded, her tears gone, and looking calmer and more focused than Cavin would have given her credit for. "I'll leave tomorrow."  
  
*  
  
Cavin wandered restlessly through the halls of the manor. It was shockingly quiet. Of course, it never had been terribly noisy, but when Cavin and Cara were young, there had been fosterlings around. Even after both Cara and Cavin had been Chosen, and taken to Haven, there were old friends of her father visiting, but Terra, in spite of her occasional histrionics, preferred a quiet lifestyle, and she lived here with only the servants and Ramon, a cousin of Cavin and Cara's who was now heir to the insignificant Camron estate. Now only the few servants were left, for Ramon had gone with Terra when they left.  
  
Cavin knew they had expected him to go back with them, but he couldn't. Not and have to see Cara a little paler, a little weaker than she'd been when he left. Not and feel her pain when the shielding between them ruptured, not and see her mind leave the body that had betrayed her, making her unrecognisable in the last, pain racked days of her life.  
  
But he couldn't explain that to his Mother. She could not understand how shields even as thick as the ones that blocked Cara now would only withstand Cara's pain when distance weakened it. If Cavin went back, he knew he would have to bear Cara's pain as well as his own grief. Cara had sent him away for that very reason.  
  
But now - no one to talk to, nothing to do. Cavin was beginning to yearn for overwork again.  
  
He walked to the stables, where two doorless box-stalls gave accommodation to Kelastran and Aliss - only Aliss, now.  
  
"C'mon, Aliss," Cavin called. "Let's go for a ride."  
  
*  
  
Cavin and Alice galloped along the road. It was times like these that they were most content; no need to speak, no envy or anger with just themselves . . .  
  
Suddenly a distant mindcall broke their peaceful reverie. Aliss spun instinctively and galloped towards the village near Wyrfen Wood. They both knew that the caller was not trained, not a Herald, but was Gifted, and in danger.  
  
They galloped into the village, and Cavin automatically took note of what was happening. Bandits from the Wood - they had been reported to the Circuit Heralds, and a contingent of the Guard was on its way - had been plaguing small villagers for some time. This one, Brightwood, was almost perfect for their needs. Large enough to be wealthy, small enough not to have a large garrison. Inconveniently far from Camron Manor, even if there were any Arms men there to help. And it was harvest time; all the men would be in the fields . . .  
  
All this passed through Cavin's mind in a second, even as a sword wielding bandit leapt at him, screaming incoherently. Aliss reared up, and came down on the bandit's head, crushing his skull. Cavin grabbed the sword as the bandit fell.  
  
An old memory appeared in his mind, of him asking the weapons master a question one day. "Herald, what if I have to fight but I don't have a weapon?" The man had smiled. "Get one quick."  
  
Aliss mowed down the bandits , and Cavin dispatched a few more. Neither he now Aliss had an opponent went she spoke.  
  
:Her!: Aliss called, changing direction and galloping towards the forest. :She called us! Her!:  
  
Now Cavin saw her, a young, slight, red-haired woman being held by a bandit who pulled her back into the wood. For someone untrained, she was putting up a good fight, kicking at shins and struggling enough to thoroughly distract the bandit.  
  
As he closed the distance between them, Cavin saw the reason her struggles had not bought her freedom; in one of the hands holding her arms tightly, the bandit still clutched his sword, and as she struggled, it dug brutally into the muscle of her upper arm. The girl was fighting pain as well as her molester.  
  
Cavin allowed none of his admiration or anger to interfere with conscious thought as he rode ever closer. The bandit saw him coming - too late - and shoved the girl away so she went sprawling. Aliss did not slow her gallop as she rode him down.  
  
Cavin did not stop for the girl, but turned back to the village. As he turned, he saw the girl pick herself up and grab the dead bandit's sword. Cavin smiled to himself, where the bandit's couldn't see. That girl had courage.  
  
Soon the fight was over. The men returned near the end, to chase of the few bandits who had not fled or died. The tally was three dead; one old man, his wife, and a boy who had been too ill this morning to go to the fields, and seven wounded, including the girl. It seemed that the bandits had come to plunder, not to kill.  
  
The adrenalin of the fight now gone, Cavin slid wearily from Aliss's back. The mayor walked towards him.  
  
"Thank you, Herald." The man said simply. "I don't know how you knew to come, when the other Heralds have long since moved on, but you have saved our village."  
  
Cavin was wearing his Whites, something he did out of habit even when not on duty, so the mayor had obviously taken him for a duty Herald.  
  
"It was nothing out of the ordinary," He said. "I was simply in the area. I have mindspoken the Herald at the local Healing temple, and soon they will bring a Healer to help your wounded. In the meantime, I know something of field medicine, and if I can help, I will."  
  
The Mayor - Buskin, Cavin now remembered his name was - smiled in relief. "That's good to know Herald." He replied cheerfully. "As it happens, my own wife, Ulna, could use you help."  
  
Ulna had been slashed across the shoulder defending her two small children. They had emerged unharmed, but she had a deep cut and a broken collarbone. He secured that with a bandage that would hold until the Healer arrived, and moved on to the next patient.  
  
At last he was to tend the girl - Emilia, she said her name was. Replacing the crude bandage on her arm with a neater one did not allow him to study her face, but Cavin was aware that she was even prettier than he had thought.  
  
She was slightly shorter than him, with thick, red hair that waved around a fine-boned face. Her clear, jade-green eyes were cheerful and intelligent, and her smile must make men gaze long and longingly.  
  
And then the Healer came and supplanted him, and for some reason, Cavin felt horribly jealous.  
  
*  
  
By the time Cavin finished, it was late and he was tired, so with no more than a token resistance, he had accepted their offer of a room at the inn - although he did not plan to take it for free. The next morning he found that the Healer had already returned, so he decided to stay with the village in case the raiders returned. And not, he told himself sharply, to see Emilia's jade green eyes, and her beautiful smile.  
  
It didn't help that a part of him was saying snidely, yeah right.  
  
Later that day, as he talked to the Mayor, he was surprised to see a Herald and Companion on the road. He excused himself hastily, and, mounting Aliss bareback, hurried out to meet him.  
  
"Gregor!" Cavin called in surprise. "What are you doing here?" When he had left, Gregor was assigned to Haven as a special messenger. Then the truth dawned on him, and the blood ran from his face. "Oh, Gods - Cara - "  
  
Gregor nodded sorrowfully, putting a hand on Cavin's arm in ineffectual comfort. "It was three days ago." he said quietly. "Three days after your mother arrived. She said that you wouldn't know, said she'd blocked you. I came to tell you." Gregor hesitated. "I am so sorry to have to bear this news. More sorry than you can imagine."  
  
Cavin nodded numbly, unable to pull himself together enough to ask the questions he knew he must ask - Had Kelastran reChosen? Who? When did Cavin need to go back to Haven? Was Gregor going to return, or were his instructions to stay and keep Cavin from doing something stupid? And on it went . . .  
  
With a start, he realised that Aliss had carried him back to the village. He slid off, and she trotted away. She seemed to know he did not need her.  
  
Emilia slipped over two him, concern written all over her face. "What's wrong? Did the other Herald bring bad news?" she asked him anxiously.  
  
Cavin knew that if he answered her, he would probably start to cry right there in the street, utterly destroying the Heraldic image. She must have seen this in his face, for she quickly led him past the houses, to where no one would see them.  
  
"What's wrong?" she repeated.  
  
"My sister, my twin sister." Cavin answered. His voice sounded strange and tinny even in his own ears. "She - she died - my twin - Cara - " his eyes were stinging now with grief. Emilia took his hand.  
  
"Did you know she was dying?" She asked gently.  
  
"I - knew," he admitted. The words came easier now. "I knew when I left two weeks ago that I would never see her again. But . . ."  
  
"It's still a shock, isn't it?" Emilia said gently. "It's different to know and to realise. And it can sometimes hurt twice as much."  
  
Cavin gaped at her, shocked out of his grief. "How did you know?" He asked her in astonishment.  
  
Emilia smiled, but the smile had a sorrowful twist. "My parents died of Hammer lung six years ago." she told him quietly. "I knew, intellectually, that they could not last until the Healers could help them, but . . ." she shrugged eloquently. They stood in silence for a while, watching the gold disk of the sun slide towards the earth. "Your sister." Emilia said at last. "Was she a Herald?"  
  
To his surprise, Cavin noticed that the first, overwhelming grief had been replaced by a deep and abiding regret. "Yes." he replied simply.  
  
"What will happen to her Companion?"  
  
"Normally, the Companion dies. They cannot live when the love that bound them to their Chosen is gone." Will Aliss die with me? Or do I not love her enough? But even that thought seemed to have lost its obsessive power. "Cara was the King's Own, though, and the Kin's Own stallion does not die, he simply Chooses the next King's Own."  
  
"Who will he Choose?" Asked Emilia, fascinated.  
  
"I don't know," Cavin confessed.  
  
"Well, who's most suited to the job?" asked Emilia impatiently.  
  
"I - guess I am." Cavin said after a moment of thought.  
  
Emilia laughed in confusion. "But you already have a Companion!"  
  
At that moment, the sun slipped behind the earth, dying the clouds a brilliant crimson, and turning Emilia into a living flame, gold and red in the Sunset.  
  
And before them appeared to statues of reddish gold that seemed to burn with power. Then the sun was gone, and two Companions were standing before them. They were unmistakeably Aliss and Kelastran.  
  
:I knew how this would be, my friend, my brother,: said Aliss. Hew mind voice no longer jarred Cavin; it was as soft and smooth as Cara's had ever been. :I knew that you would one day be King's Own, and have to leave me. That is why I never gave you all my heart. So you would not give me yours. So that we both would not end up broken.: Aliss stepped towards him, and buried her velvet nose in his chest: a Companion embrace. :Not your fault; never your fault.:  
  
And with that, she stepped away, and Cavin was filled with elation and relief; it was not his fault that he had loved his twin more than his Companion, none of it, none, was his fault. He was too caught up in this giddy joy to wonder at what she had said, until Kelastran stepped forward.  
  
:Cavin,: His voice filled his mind. :I Choose you.: Cavin had heard his voice before, through his sister, but now it filled him, so loud and intense it would shake him apart, and carrying with it the love, unconditional, unendable, that he had always wanted. Cavin seemed to stand, leaning on Kelastran, for an eternity, before he looked up.  
  
"And what happens to you, Aliss?" Cavin's words trembled. "Will I lose you?" It was startling for Cavin to realise that not sharing Companion-love did not truly help in this separation, for between Cavin and Aliss had grown true friendship, and that could not be taken away.  
  
:Don't be silly,: admonished Aliss. :You can talk to me as easily as you ever could to Kelastran.:  
  
Emilia seemed just as startled as Cavin. "How?" They asked in unison.  
  
:Because you're Lifebonded, of course!:  
  
Bonds upon bonds upon bonds . . .  
  
*  
  
The End!  
  
*  
  
And they all lived happily ever after.  
  
*  
  
Except Cara, who was dead.  
  
*  
  
Was that callous of me? If so, I'm sorry. It just popped into my head.  
  
That was just my version of the story. Feel free to explain yourselves how a Monarch's Own Stallion Chooses someone who's already a Herald.  
  
Maybe if the Herald was like Karal with Florian . . . 


End file.
